Now I Am Strong
by Golden.Eyes.Are.Love
Summary: Edward is in love with Bella, and she can't even be bothered to look at him. When Edward finally reaches his breaking point and thinks there is no other way out, he hears the voice he has been waiting so long for. - AU, all human, BxE.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

**EPOV**

I could hear my sister Alice's too high-pitched voice in her room, even with my headphones on in my room, playing Clair de Lune as loud as it would go.

"Ohmigod Bells, I can't wait for this party!"

Ah, Jesus! Another party I wasn't gonna be invited to.. And it was tomorrow night. How humiliating. I could feel my heart start to sink, the sadness washing over me again.

"Yeah," I could still hear her talking. "My parents said I could finally have one here!"

_What? _No!

Alice was throwing a party.. here. Shit. I didn't want all these people who I hated intruding in my house.

I decided to go down and talk to Carlisle.

When I got to his office, he seemed to be reviewing some medical files, as always.

"Hey Dad," I knocked on the door. "you got a minute?"

"Of course, Edward." I could always rely on Carlisle whenever I wanted to talk, no matter how busy he was. My mother as well.

They were the only ones.

"Did you and Mom say that Alice could have a party here?" I asked him, a sour tone to my voice. I'd rather die than have those people in my house.

He looked up at me, sympathy in his eyes.

"Yes, she's been pestering me for quite a while now about it.."

I groaned. "She'll probably force me out.."

"She wouldn't do that, I'd make sure of that."

I put my head in my hands. "Dad, I don't want those people here!" I was practically yelling.

"I'm sorry," he said. "you know you don't have to stay for it."

I knew that, and I wouldn't have. But then I wouldn't see her..

Bella Swan, my sister's best friend, and the girl I was madly in love with.

Only problem was, she hates me. All she thinks of me is that I'm a geek with barely any friends. And that may be true.. but it hurts all the same.

Everytime I thought of that, it felt like someone just stabbed me in the heart.

Before my father could see the tears in my eyes, I just walked back to my room, slammed the door, and collapsed on my bed.

The door opened again with a bang.

"Edward I'm on the phone," Alice yelled. "do you _mind_?

"Would _you _mind getting the hell out of my room?" I got up and pushed her out, slamming the door louder than before, and locking it.

I knew Alice loved me, and I loved her too. She was only being a bitch to me because she didn't want to be seen with my in front of her friends. But did if have to be at home as well?

I lay there, and began to drift into unconciousness.

When I woke up and went to grab breakfast, I found Alice setting up for the party. 

"You staying here tonight?" she asked.

"I guess," I sighed. "They better not go in my room."

"They won't. And you're only staying here for Bella," she taunted.

Alice had told Bella that I loved her on many occasions, and each time, Bella would just sneer.

"Alice," I heard my mother, Esme, call from the other room. "leave your brother alone."

She rolled her eyes at me, and got back to setting up the lights. Oh yes, just _too _extravagent.

I listened to music to pass the time, and too soon, the doorbell rang, and it was time for the party to start.

The first guests were about 10 of Alice's friends. Her boyfriend Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Angela, Eric, and Bella.. With her friend Jacob that she brought everywhere with her. They were inseperable.

Alice greeted them all with a hug, and a kiss for Jasper. I simply nodded at them.

"What's up Edward?" I heard Emmett behind me. He was one of the few people who actually talked to me. I saw Rosalie raise her eyebrows at him.

"Same old.." I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Hey man, take it easy." He put his arm around me. "School's almost over."

"Thank God," I chuckled half-heartedly. "I don't know if I can take it anymore."

Worry crossed Emmett's features. He's been worried about me.. afraid that I'll do something drastic.

Behind Emmett, I saw Bella dancing to the music with Jacob, and I was filled with a jealous rage.

The party dragged. I sat by the door talking to Emmett and Jasper and watched the guests arrive. There must have been about a hundred of them, my personal hell.

And, as usual, Bella didn't even look at me once.

I saw a bunch of them gathered in a circle, Bella included, playing spin the bottle.

Jacob spun, and the bottle landed on Bella.

There were a bunch of "OHHHH!'s" and "AHHH!'s."

And Jacob took Bella's face in his hands.

And they were kissing.

I started shaking, white-hot anger overpowering me, tears at my eyes, threatening to overflow.

And I was rushing upstairs, to the balcony that overlooked the river.

I was screaming.

Remember when I said that I would rather die than be at this party? I meant it. And the ground looked awfully inviting.

I propped myself up on the ledge, and stood. I was shaking, with either nervousness, or anticipation.

_Goodbye, Bella._

I closed my eyes.

"Edward, NO! PLEASE!"

That voice... The voice I loved. Calling my name.

**Hello! :) I really hope that wasn't too depressing. The idea for this story randomly popped into my head one day, and I never got around to actually writing it until now. Review! But go easy on me, this is my first real story. Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed. Also, contructive criticism would be appreciated too. :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! I wanted to thank all you guys for the favorites, story alerts, and reviews. It was actually a lot more than I expected. :) Also, I changed my name from xClairDeLune to .. Alright, now that that's out of the way, here's chapter 2. Enjoy. I'll be trying to update as quickly as I can.**

**Chapter Two**

**EPOV**

I stood on the ledge of the balcony, unable to move.

Could it really be her? Unlikely.

"Edward?" the voice beckoned to me. I finally turned around...

And it was her.

She approached me slowly and cautiously, and she reached out her shaking hand.

"Edward," she whispered. "please come down."

I stared at her, tears streaming down my face. Finally, I took her hand, she helped me down, and I had almost forgotten what I wanted to do. She took my hand in both of her's.

"I'm sorry Edward," her voice was shaking. "I would never want you to do that. I'm so sorry, please forgive me. For everything."

I was shocked, there was nothing I could think of to say. I just stared at her, with a million questions in my head, that could probably be read on my face.

"I know I'm a bitch... A horrible bitch," she said, sounding like she was about to cry. "But I never meant to hurt you. I just want you to know, that I never meant anything I've said to you, or about you."

What? This _had _to be a joke. Just wait, in a few minutes she would laugh in my face, go away and I could get back on the ledge.

But she didn't leave, she just stood there, staring at me with her puppy-dog eyes that I couldn't resist.

"No," I finally murmured. "I never thought of you that way, despite everything."

"I don't deserve it," she smiled, and shook her head. "Edward, you should know, that you're nothing that everyone else says you are. You're so much better, and you need to see that in yourself."

I was speechless.

"They don't see who you really are, but I see whenever I'm with your sister," she continued. "You're deep, and the music you play is beautiful."

She's heard my compositions? And liked them?

"Do you love Jacob?" I blurted out what I was most curious about.

She closed her eyes and smiled. "No."

We sat down on the chairs, just staring at each other. I was still not entirely convinced that she meant any of this. It was so strange! She had never said anything resembling something nice to me before this. God, did it really take an almost suicide attempt to get someone to say something nice? To get a self esteem boost?

"You realize how much it would hurt your family, and your friends if you did that, right?" she asked angrily, then her expression softened. "And me."

I nodded. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about anyone other than myself. I felt that there was no way out. I just couldn't take it anymore."

"Well, I can't say I relate." She rolled her eyes. "I've never felt like that before, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't do _that_." She nodded toward the ledge of the balcony.

"I don't recommend it," I replied in a solemn tone.

I had just realized that we were still hand in hand, but I didn't dare move. I felt content. It was something that I hadn't really felt in a long time. It felt nice.

I heard the creak of the door opening, and Bella turned around, still not moving her hands.

Alice stared directly at me. "What the _HELL_ are you _doing_?"

Bella stood up, and I stood up with her, like a chain reaction.

"Don't you dare be a bitch to him, Alice!" she scolded. "Do you have any concept of how much shit he's had to take from everyone?"

Alice just stared at Bella, looking quite terrified. I supressed a smile.

"Sorry," my sister squeaked. She had obviously never seen Bella like this either.

"Yeah," Bella was yelling again. "I don't know how he did it for so long, but it's not gonna go on anymore. I'm gonna make sure of it."

I looked up. "Just leave us alone, Alice. Please."

Bella and I both stared her down, and she backed back into the house, quietly sliding the door shut behind her.

"Thank you...," I murmured. "so much."

She held my hand again. "Like I said, you don't deserve all the shit you get."

It was so good to hear someone say that.

Alice hadn't even been gone for ten seconds when suddenly, we could hear a big crowd of people.

"No!" Bella screamed. She slid open the door and pulled me with her, trying to head downstairs.

"Just get away from us! ALL OF YOU!" she continued to yell.

"MOVE!" I yelled as well.

We eventually got passed everyone who was laughing, or gasping, or mobbing us. I pulled her to my car.

And then I was speeding down the road, with the girl of my dreams finally by my side.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all character belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter Three**

**EPOV**

We drove along the highway, though I wasn't totally sure where we were going. But who the hell cares? I have Bella by my side. That's all I need in the world. And right now I was so happy, I could almost cry.

I turned to her, and she smiled at me._ Could it be possible that she is just as happy as I am_? I wondered to myself. Very hard to believe, but there was nothing I wanted to do more than believe in my own happiness at this point. I was horrified at myself for what I wanted to do now. Although, I really am quite shocked that I had not attempted something stupid like that before this.

Would I have really done it? Would they be cleaning up my blood right now and carrying my body out? Would I have committed such a cowardly act?

Not something that I especially wanted to dwell over. I shuddered.

"Where we goin?" Bella asked, finally breaking the silence.

I smiled. "I don't know, to be perfectly honest," I confessed.

"How 'bout just taking a ride?" she suggested. "I really don't wanna go back there."

"Well _you_ don't have to. But it's my home." I sighed. "Gonna have to go back eventually."

She smiled at me sympathetically. "Sorry to cause all this trouble."

"Don't be silly!" I said, shaking my head. "If you hadn't have come, I probably would have been causing even more trouble..." I trailed off, I felt her shudder.

"So thank you," I whispered.

She took my hand again, and I was just trying not to get us in a car crash.

**BPOV**

I desperately wanted to kiss him. Kissing him might make me feel alright.

I didn't care about all the things he was saying to me, about me being forgiven. I couldn't believe it. I just felt so horrible. _WHY _did he feel the need to do that? It was all my fault.

In all seriousness, I had always had a bit of a thing for Edward Cullen. But I succumbed to peer pressure too easily. I rolled my eyes.

_No more of that, _I thought to myself.

I didn't care if people knew anymore. I just wanted to be with him.

I never really understood why everyone made fun of Edward. What was there to make fun of? Sure, he was kind of a loner, but that really is no reason to make fun of someone. He was good-looking, smart, talented. Maybe the others were just jealous? I smiled to myself.

"I don't wanna go back home," I said to him.

He chuckled. "Neither do I, definitely not."

A few moments of silence passed. "Can I ask you something?" Edward asked me.

"Oh, sure."

"How did you know that I was planning... suicide?" Both of us flinched.

I had seen him watching us, and running upstairs.

"I didn't know you were gonna do _that_," I told him. "But I did know something was wrong, that it had upset you. I wanted to make things right, and I guess I just decided to tell you the way I really felt about you." I blushed.

He grinned, and blushed as well. How cute. "Well thank you. You saved me."

I had nothing to say, so we just smiled at each other.

"Hey," I said a few minutes later. "Wanna maybe, come back to my house for a bit, clear your head? My dad isn't home, so we won't have to go through all the trouble of telling him why you're there."

He looked surprised, he raised his eyebrows.

"Oh! Oh, yeah, absolutely," he answered, the surprise was apparent in his voice.

"Cool, I'll tell ya how to get there."

It took all of 5 minutes for Edward to reach my house, what with how fast he was.

He looked around my house, while I checked to make sure my father wasn't home.

We had decided to sit back on the couch and watch a movie, when I heard a car pull up in the driveway.

My father.

"Shit!" I shrieked.

Good luck Edward had parked his car in the neighbor's parking lot, Charlie would be totally oblivious.

Edward looked rather worried, and I told him to hide in the closet in the hallway, hoping to God that Charlie wouldn't look in there.

The front door opened, just in time for the closet door to close.

"Hey Bells," my dad, Charlie Swan, Chief of Police, greeted me.

"Hey Dad," I fought to keep my tone from going up three octaves. "how was work?"

"Lazy day, to be honest. What's with you?"

Shit! "Nothing, why?"

"Ah, nevermind. I gotta use the bathroom," he dropped his things, and went off to the bathroom. Relief ran through my whole body.

I opened the closet door, and directed Edward to the front door. We gave each other a quick hug goodbye.

"Good luck," I told him before he left.

He smiled, and placed a note in my hand.

I closed the door quietly, and breathed out a sigh of extreme relief. I opened up the note, and smiled at what it said.

_Miss you already._

**Hey guys! So sorry for the wait! I had a serious case of writer's block. Anyway, hoped you enjoyed the chapter. It was kind of a filler...**

**So guess what?.. Any Green Day fans out there? I saw their concert last night! AHHH! They were so amazing! 3**

**Alright, I'm done with the fangirling. Let me know if you're a Green Day fan. :)**

**Thanks for reading guys, please tell me what you thought of it. Until next time...**


End file.
